Knight and Day
Unfortunately, I had a prior commitment that kept me from seeing the Wednesday premiere of Knight and Day (Young Frankenstein at the Buell! It was awesome). Besides, this movie never should have opened on a Wednesday. Anyway, the screening I went to was moderately attended, considering it was a weekday afternoon.
Lets not kid ourselves, Knight and Day is not going to be in the running for any Oscars. But I was somewhat surprised at how many hits the film scored. For what it is- a summertime popcorn action flick- it does a good job. Basically, you take a tried and true premise (ditzy attractive woman reluctantly teams up with rugged action hero- see Romancing the Stone), throw in a couple of A list stars, and bingo, surefire hit.
The plot, at least what there is of it, concerns Roy Miller, a Rogue Agent (or is he? or isn't he? The movie never really decides) who becomes tasked with protecting a world-changing invention from his evil ex-partner. Along the way, Cameron Diaz's June Havens stumbles across his path, and he has to take her along, or something.
Naturally, there is a fair bit of action in the film. But as any action-film fan will tell you, the best part of any action scene is the climactic ending, where the heroes valiantly escape and move on to their next challenge. However, the film weasels out of this with an initially clever but ultimately frustrating device. Whenever the going gets tough, Miller knocks Havens out (drugs, sleeper hold, etc.) and... well we don't know what happens next. She goes unconscious, and then wakes up somewhere else. Miller bravely and boldly kicked ass and killed everyone, and they escaped, which is awesome and all, but WE DIDN'T SEE HIM DO IT. It was very annoying, by the eighth or ninth time it happened (ok, it wasn't that many but still, come on now).
So really, there was only one action sequence that was worth the price of admission, that being the climactic motorcycle chase through the streets of Seville- including the Pampalona running of the bulls (wait what?)- leading up to the showdown between Miller and the main baddie. In any normal action film, this would be a disappointment, but Knight and Day has enough "moments", mostly of humor, to keep the train limping into the station. Cruise's performance as the overly friendly secret agent makes me somewhat nostalgic for his pre-couch hopping, Jerry Maguire days.
Attendance: 3/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 0/5
Crowd Response: 3/5
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Production Value: 3/5
Humor: 3/5
Action: 3/5
Tom Cruise: Is still weird
Overall: 6/10
Grown Ups
How best to sum up this film in two words... Hell I'll give you one word: "FAIL".
If you prefer two words, I can think of any number of things to say. But since quite a few of you inexplicably voted for this movie, I will give you a full review (sigh).
If you had told me the premise of Grown Ups maybe a year ago, I would have been stoked... "Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Chris Rock, hanging out in a lake house, cracking wise at each other for two hours? Sign me up! Whats the plot? Wait that IS the plot? You mean they just hang out and insult each other? Ok ok, still somewhat excited, it will be R rated right? No? Hmm."
That would have been my reaction a year ago. However, I first heard about this film recently, so I fortunately didn't have any time to build my expectations for it above "first day of school" levels of dread. Even so, I was disappointed. Grown Ups is a horrible thing that has been unleashed on the movie-going world.
I guess maybe I'm not giving this film any credit. There is a plot; seems the five aforementioned stars used to play Middle School basketball together. The coach of their championship team dies, and THAT'S why they all get together at the lake house. Sorry if its hard to follow but if so then maybe you will like this movie.
What follows is an odd collection of tender family moments interspersed with fart jokes, nut shots, and fat people (Kevin James) or short people (Rob Schneider) getting hurt. Oh and did I mention the barrage of one-liners? Basically, the entire script is one big wry joke after another. I guess the writers realized nothing they could come up with was particularly funny, so they should go for quantity over quality. There are also several running gags (the not-yet-weaned four year old, the dog barking a lot, Kevin James is fat, etc. etc. ad nauseum). This might have worked, if even 25% of the jokes were actually funny.
sample of actual dialogue:
(wayward basketball knocks beer out of womans hand)
Woman: Hey! You spilled my beer!
Husband: Why does everything have to be about you?
Woman: Why do you have to be such a DICK?
hahahahaha! funny right? no? anyone?
Problem is I laughed maybe three times, and I'm being generous here, throughout the whole movie. The phrase "one-joke-premise", used disparagingly for many films, would be an accolade for Grown Ups. Oh and lets talk about casting; I appreciate the filmmaker's decision to help make up for their lack of skill by putting as much eye candy on screen as possible (Rob Schneider's daughters especially). But am I really supposed to believe Kevin James is married to Maria Bello? I didn't believe it with Leah Remini in King of Queens, I'm not going to buy it now. And Sandler with Salma Hayek? That one was only plausible because they made his character filthy rich.
I could probably rant about this film for a few more paragraphs, but I digress. You get the point by now I hope.
Attendance: 3/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 0/5
Crowd Response: 1/5
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Production Value: 3/5
Humor: 1/5
Plot: 1/5
Pee Jokes: are NOT funny
Overall: 3/10
Moral of this week: If you want to see a new film in the coming days, see Knight and Day! It has enough action to satisfy, and it is much funnier than Grown Ups.
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