Eclipse

When I got to the theater at 5:30 to purchase my Eclipse tickets, a small line of pre-teen girls in Twilight shirts had already formed in the lobby, evidence that the night was going to be an interesting one regardless of the quality of the movie. I amended my plan to arrive at the theater at 10:45, so instead Stephanie and I got there at 9:30.

The line was already stretched outside the theater doors.

In the line I met Tammy, a 50 year old Twilight super fan. On first glance she looked to be an ordinary middle aged female, but a minute of conversation revealed her to be a lunatic. She professed to having read all 4 Twilight books 12 times, watched the first movie in theaters 39 times, and the second 35. She also has won several Twilight trivia contests.

Talking with this woman made the first hour of waiting in line go by amazingly fast. At 10:45, the time I initially planned to get there, the line was roughly 300 yards long, stretching all the way past the parking lot to the bus stop.

At long last, (11:15) the line began to move, and the Twilighters were divided up into four (FOUR!) large theaters. The movie started about a half hour late because people were still being seated until the bitter end. Crazy!

As for the film, well, it is a Twilight movie, and that's about all there is to say. Admittedly, it is an improvement on the first two, which I felt took themselves a little too seriously for movies about mopey teenaged vampires. This one had more of a sense of humor (although having recently seeing Grown Ups, perhaps my own sense of humor is tainted now). The acting performances from the three leads had already improved from "god-awful" to "dreadful" from the first to second film, and I am happy to report they have been upgraded again to "wooden". Perhaps by the fifth and final Twilight film one of them will win an Oscar? (HAHAHA)

As for the story, this one suffers from the same problem as the second, namely, it is an intermediary plot, driving the overall story forward to the ultimate climax in the last book. So, nothing really that spectacular happens. The characters all just develop a little bit more. I understand though that this problem is inherent in any series. The character development I appreciated the most is the back stories of some of Mopey Teenaged Vampire's siblings, those stories are by far more interesting than what is going on in Forks, WA, present day.

On the plus side, I must admit that this film isn't really half bad. The direction by David Slade, newcomer to the series, is a lot more focused than the earlier films. Rather than scenes just happening, then ending, then something else randomly happening, each scene in Eclipse leads into the next much more smoothly. And none of the plot points felt as rushed as some did in the earlier films.

Ultimately, I can't say that I enjoyed Eclipse, because I didn't. But I never rolled my eyes. It is a solid film, just not directed at my sort of audience. If you love Twilight, you will love it. If you hate Twilight, you will hate it. No minds are going to be changed this late in the game.

The theater I was in was 100% full, as were the three others (apparently). Everyone was super into it, predictably, and Jacob got lots of hoots and hollers. Before the film started a theater employee ran a basic scream-survey, Jacob vs. Edward. I think it was about 70-30 in favor of Team Jacob. The film ended to thunderous applause and lots of teenaged girls screaming (also predictably).


Attendance: 5/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 5/5
Crowd Response: 5/5

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Production Value: 4/5
Acting Performances: 2/5
Plot: 2/5
Sulking: Down 20% from the last film

Overall: 5/10

Featured New Release Poll- 7/9

Well its that time of the week again folks, the next batch of new releases are up and ready to be voted for. This time its Despicable Me, the animated super villain tale featuring the voice of Steve Carell, vs. Predators, a sci-fi shoot em up featuring Adrien Brody and Laurence Fishburne, who team up with a band of killers to face off against the legendary Predator.

Winner: Eclipse

Can't say I am too surprised. Eclipse won handily with 60% of the vote. For those who have been living under a rock in a cave on Mars the last few years, this is the third part of the pale, good-looking, teenaged vampire chronicles (aka Twilight). Love Ranch and The Last Airbender tied with 20% each.

In anticipation of this result I have spent the last two days catching up on the first two films in the series (yes, I am dedicated). No review for the first two but I will say I am not going into tonight with very high expectations. But I will reserve judgment for later.

I'll be going to the midnight screening at Old Town 14 with my girlfriend. Wish me luck.

Oh and for the record, I am on Team Edward.

Top Five Musical Scores

Since I haven't been keeping up with this segment as well as I hoped, I punished myself by selecting a somewhat obscure category for this list. Here I name my five favorite film scores.

Everyone knows that movies have music in them, but who really notices it? Well, I do, especially when it is great. For some films, a great score can transform them from a summer popcorn flick into an international phenomenon (see #2). Sometimes, a score lives on in pop culture long past its film's expiration date.

To compile this list I came up with a few simple rules; first of all, only scores made up of mostly original music composed for the film would count. All apologies to movies such as 2001: A Space Odyssey, Boogie Nights, or any of Tarantino's films- all have great music but it is not wholly original. Secondly, only one entry per composer (the John Williams rule).

Lastly, no musicals. Musicals are supposed to have good music.

5. Up, Michael Giacchino



I love this score for its simplicity. It takes a simple theme, builds upon it and rearranges it, makes it grow, takes it back down to a lone piano... brilliant metaphor for the main character's life.

I happened to mention this film's score in my last list on Pixar movies... see where I'm going with this?

4. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Howard Shore



If the first 15 seconds of the above track don't make you want to strap on your mithril armor and slay some orcs, there is no helping you.

Howard Shore took on a momentous challenge when he agreed to score all three of these epic films. He did a commendable job considering there isn't a single phrase of music that is copied from film to film. Each score stands on its own, and each is terrific. Shore composed musical themes for each main character and for the different cultures of Middle earth, using different instrumentation and style for each. Quite impressive.

3. Once Upon a Time in the West, Ennio Morricone



When a film has a character named "Harmonica", it is easy to tell that the music is going to play an important part in the story in some way. I'm not going to give away anything, but in Once Upon a Time in the West it totally does. Having a musical theme feature in the story is pretty brilliant.

Besides that, Ennio Morricone is the greatest composer of westerns ever, and this is yet another masterpiece from him. All his scores are superb. The use of electric guitar for the theme of the villain (played by Henry Fonda of all people) was innovative and often imitated.

2. Jaws, John Williams



duh Duh... duh Duh...

Yeah, the most iconic movie theme ever.

It is brilliant. Williams uses the theme to portray the pitiless, machine-like voracity of the shark. The rest of the score is also great, a slice of New England life. But that theme is the real winner.

1. Dances With Wolves, John Barry




I know many of my readers will dispute this choice, (Dances With Wolves famously beat out Goodfellas for best picture) but whatever. This film has incredible music. Memorable themes, evocative of the setting and time period, what more could you ask for? Oh, how about some of the coolest drum parts in any classical score? Check "Pawnee Attack".

The music from this film was ingrained into my head in childhood, so it will likely remain my favorite movie score forever.

So there's my five. I want to see (or hear) some of your choices, please!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Sandwiched between my forays to the cinema this week, I found the time to watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which easily proved to be the cinematic highlight of my week.

Perhaps it has to do with the weak competition it was up against; but I honestly feel Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stacks up well in the mystery/suspense genre, especially in the last decade. It is a solidly constructed thriller with a terrific cast and script.

Shane Black, the writer of the first Lethal Weapon film, makes his directorial debut with this 2005 homage to 40's Raymond Chandler style mysteries. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stars Robert Downey Jr. as its anti-hero Harry, a down on his luck petty thief who finds himself whisked from NYC to Los Angeles. He falls under the tutelage of Gay Perry (Val Kilmer), an upscale private investigator who is also the single most sarcastic individual on the planet. In the vein of the pulp fiction stories of Chandler or Dashiell Hammett, the film has many a twist and turn, a nefarious plot or two, and a substantial body count by the time the credits roll.

I really enjoy this film. The repartee between Harry (witless outsider) and Perry (sarcastic A-hole) keeps the scenes they share clicking. Michelle Monaghan is appealing as Harry's dream girl Harmony. As for the plot, it is suitably confusing for those who like their movies to have lots of twists.

One of the best things about the film is the self-referential attitude it takes, particularly in the narration by Downey Jr. Movies taking place in L.A., amongst the celebrity culture, need to do more to appeal to movie buffs such as myself, but Kiss Kiss Bang Bang does not disappoint in that regard (including references to Lord of the Rings, Joe Pesci, and Hollywood endings in general).

I have to admit I would probably rank this higher if it wasn't for its similarity to one of my favorite movies, L.A. Confidential. While it is inferior to the latter, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is still very good. I would recommend it to anyone who likes movies that make you think.

Production Value: 4/5
Acting Performances: 4/5
Humor: 4/5
Val Kilmer Jerk-o-meter: 8/5

Overall: 8/10

Knight and Day vs. Grown Ups: Fight!

As promised, I watched both new releases this week, since there was a deadlock in voting. Here is a review for each film.

Knight and Day


Unfortunately, I had a prior commitment that kept me from seeing the Wednesday premiere of Knight and Day (Young Frankenstein at the Buell! It was awesome). Besides, this movie never should have opened on a Wednesday. Anyway, the screening I went to was moderately attended, considering it was a weekday afternoon.

Lets not kid ourselves, Knight and Day is not going to be in the running for any Oscars. But I was somewhat surprised at how many hits the film scored. For what it is- a summertime popcorn action flick- it does a good job. Basically, you take a tried and true premise (ditzy attractive woman reluctantly teams up with rugged action hero- see Romancing the Stone), throw in a couple of A list stars, and bingo, surefire hit.

The plot, at least what there is of it, concerns Roy Miller, a Rogue Agent (or is he? or isn't he? The movie never really decides) who becomes tasked with protecting a world-changing invention from his evil ex-partner. Along the way, Cameron Diaz's June Havens stumbles across his path, and he has to take her along, or something.

Naturally, there is a fair bit of action in the film. But as any action-film fan will tell you, the best part of any action scene is the climactic ending, where the heroes valiantly escape and move on to their next challenge. However, the film weasels out of this with an initially clever but ultimately frustrating device. Whenever the going gets tough, Miller knocks Havens out (drugs, sleeper hold, etc.) and... well we don't know what happens next. She goes unconscious, and then wakes up somewhere else. Miller bravely and boldly kicked ass and killed everyone, and they escaped, which is awesome and all, but WE DIDN'T SEE HIM DO IT. It was very annoying, by the eighth or ninth time it happened (ok, it wasn't that many but still, come on now).

So really, there was only one action sequence that was worth the price of admission, that being the climactic motorcycle chase through the streets of Seville- including the Pampalona running of the bulls (wait what?)- leading up to the showdown between Miller and the main baddie. In any normal action film, this would be a disappointment, but Knight and Day has enough "moments", mostly of humor, to keep the train limping into the station. Cruise's performance as the overly friendly secret agent makes me somewhat nostalgic for his pre-couch hopping, Jerry Maguire days.


Attendance: 3/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 0/5
Crowd Response: 3/5

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Production Value: 3/5
Humor: 3/5
Action: 3/5
Tom Cruise: Is still weird

Overall: 6/10



Grown Ups


How best to sum up this film in two words... Hell I'll give you one word: "FAIL".

If you prefer two words, I can think of any number of things to say. But since quite a few of you inexplicably voted for this movie, I will give you a full review (sigh).

If you had told me the premise of Grown Ups maybe a year ago, I would have been stoked... "Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Chris Rock, hanging out in a lake house, cracking wise at each other for two hours? Sign me up! Whats the plot? Wait that IS the plot? You mean they just hang out and insult each other? Ok ok, still somewhat excited, it will be R rated right? No? Hmm."

That would have been my reaction a year ago. However, I first heard about this film recently, so I fortunately didn't have any time to build my expectations for it above "first day of school" levels of dread. Even so, I was disappointed. Grown Ups is a horrible thing that has been unleashed on the movie-going world.

I guess maybe I'm not giving this film any credit. There is a plot; seems the five aforementioned stars used to play Middle School basketball together. The coach of their championship team dies, and THAT'S why they all get together at the lake house. Sorry if its hard to follow but if so then maybe you will like this movie.

What follows is an odd collection of tender family moments interspersed with fart jokes, nut shots, and fat people (Kevin James) or short people (Rob Schneider) getting hurt. Oh and did I mention the barrage of one-liners? Basically, the entire script is one big wry joke after another. I guess the writers realized nothing they could come up with was particularly funny, so they should go for quantity over quality. There are also several running gags (the not-yet-weaned four year old, the dog barking a lot, Kevin James is fat, etc. etc. ad nauseum). This might have worked, if even 25% of the jokes were actually funny.

sample of actual dialogue:
(wayward basketball knocks beer out of womans hand)
Woman: Hey! You spilled my beer!
Husband: Why does everything have to be about you?
Woman: Why do you have to be such a DICK?
hahahahaha! funny right? no? anyone?

Problem is I laughed maybe three times, and I'm being generous here, throughout the whole movie. The phrase "one-joke-premise", used disparagingly for many films, would be an accolade for Grown Ups. Oh and lets talk about casting; I appreciate the filmmaker's decision to help make up for their lack of skill by putting as much eye candy on screen as possible (Rob Schneider's daughters especially). But am I really supposed to believe Kevin James is married to Maria Bello? I didn't believe it with Leah Remini in King of Queens, I'm not going to buy it now. And Sandler with Salma Hayek? That one was only plausible because they made his character filthy rich.

I could probably rant about this film for a few more paragraphs, but I digress. You get the point by now I hope.


Attendance: 3/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 0/5
Crowd Response: 1/5

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Production Value: 3/5
Humor: 1/5
Plot: 1/5
Pee Jokes: are NOT funny

Overall: 3/10

Moral of this week: If you want to see a new film in the coming days, see Knight and Day! It has enough action to satisfy, and it is much funnier than Grown Ups.

Featured New Release Poll- 7/2

The next poll is posted, and its a doozy. Three films slated to open in wide release this week, with the continuation of the Twilight series Eclipse (6/30) leading the pack. Also coming out Wednesday is the Hellen Mirren/Joe Pesci vehicle Love Ranch, a true story about the first legal brothel in Nevada. M. Night Shyamalan's (aka one of my least favorite directors) The Last Airbender, a Friday Release, brings up the rear for this week. Which one will it be?

I demand a recount!

I can't believe it, two polls and already we have our first tie, 50/50 right down the middle. Because I am such a generous person, I am going to double dip and see both Knight and Day and Grown Ups, since they have different release dates. Knight and Day technically had a midnight release at some theaters but whatever, I'll catch a matinee tomorrow, and Grown Ups on Friday. Talk about the worst case scenario.

Next viewing assignment...

Since the last two films I watched were either slanted towards the chicks (Steel Magnolias) or the dudes (Black Hawk Down), I searched through my pile of surveys to find a favorite movie that would have appeal to both genders.

I ended up going with my film school buddy Brian's suggestion of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a 2005 murder mystery starring Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. I have seen this movie on TV, which we all know doesn't really count, so I am counting this as a first time viewing. Brian was mindful to point out that he doesn't have a true favorite movie- the "douche-bag cliche film student answer", he called it- but Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is "good shit" (I am quoting right off the survey). Thanks for the suggestion, Brian.

I will rent this post haste and get back to you all with my thoughts.

Top Five Pixar Movies

In keeping with last week's theme, here are my top 5 favorite Pixar movies. Keep in mind, I have not seen Cars or Ratatouille. Every one I have seen I have enjoyed.

5. Monsters Inc.


Honestly, for this spot I had a tough choice, because it would mean leaving out a film or two I really do like. But Monsters Inc. won out thanks to a terrific ensemble voice cast and interesting (read: batshit crazy) premise.

The two main characters, Mike and Sully, are a terrific team. Voiced by Billy Crystal and John Goodman, there is a great bit of dialogue in every scene. The character design is particularly inspired. Even just looking at Mike elicits a laugh from me every time. And Boo is cute too.

Overall, Monsters Inc. is one of Pixar's funniest movies.

4. Finding Nemo


I have to admit I am somewhat of a marine/sea-life nerd. The fish and sea birds are all impressively animated, they look very much like their real life counterparts while still maintaining a somewhat cartoony, classic Pixar look. Also, Jaws is one of my favorite movies of all time so I appreciated them naming the Great White Shark Bruce.

Plot-wise, this is probably Pixar's best overall story (behind #1- see below)

3. Up



Up is one of those Pixar movies where, when I first heard about it, I said to myself, "How can they turn this premise into a good movie?" Unlike the other film I thought this about (Cars) I heard unanimously great things about this so I decided to watch it a few days after my Grandfather passed away (big, big mistake).

Up will be remembered by most for its heart wrenching prologue, in which an entire lifetime passes before our eyes to show us how protagonist Carl has arrived in his present day situation. But for me, the entire film and depiction of Carl's relationship with Russell, the fatherless boy who tags along on the adventure, was an emotionally draining experience (see above about Grandfather's passing).

The score of this film is also superb.

2. Wall-E


I have heard many complaints on internet forums and such that Wall-E is "boring". I can understand how someone might see it that way, but if you do, I feel quite sorry for you. Wall-E is Pixar's most beautiful film, and will probably be considered their masterpiece (until they come up with something better- you know its possible).

The film delivers a message without being too preachy about it, depicts a complex relationship between two Robots incapable of speech, and generally rocks.

1. Toy Story trilogy



This list would be pretty boring if I didn't lump these three movies together. I can't really rank one higher than the others either, so this is easier.

Frankly, the characters of Toy Story are amongst the greatest animated characters in American animation. What a great voice cast! It seems like everyone has a different favorite character, the sign of a tremendous ensemble.

The stories, too, are top notch, only challenged by Finding Nemo.

The best part of Toy Story, though, is how the series as a whole encapsulates the experience of growing up. Re-watching the films now gives me a much different, more nostalgic experience than when they first came out.




So, what do you guys think? I'd like to hear about your favorite Pixar films/characters/moments.

Toy Story 3

I know I said this already, but thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for sending me to Toy Story 3. I went into the theater with high expectations, and they were equaled halfway through the film, and easily exceeded by the end. Pixar continues its amazing streak of great films.

I arrived at the Old Town 14 at 11:10. There was a modest line in the lobby, maybe a dozen people in front of me and my mom, another Pixar fan. We got right in, fearing that maybe there wouldn't be a big crowd. Fortunately by the time the film started the theater was probably 90% full at least, not bad for a G movie at midnight. The crowd was mostly made up of 16-18 year olds who, like myself, grew up with the Toy Story boy Andy. I was on the lookout for avid fans dressed like toys, but came up more or less empty handed. There was a 3 or 4 year old boy in Buzz Lightyear pj's holding a Woody doll though. I wanted to take a picture with him but decided his parents might be somewhat suspicious of me.

Like all Pixar films, this one opens with a short. Day & Night is the most unusual Pixar short you will see, but it is very clever in its technique and the message is good as well. 7/10

Now on to the feature; Toy Story 3 is really, really good. I'm not going to call it brilliant as it is a sequel, but it is damn near perfect. The amazing thing for me is how Pixar managed to keep the same feel of the first two films, the last of which came out more than ten years ago. Despite the advances in computer animation since then, this still feels like the same world as the other two films. Bringing back all of the voice actors was another triumph (except Jim "Slinky Dog" Varney, RIP). Even the voice of now 17 year old Andy is played by the same actor from the earlier films. Impressive.

Technical aspects aside, the story is great on its own. All your old favorite characters are back, along with a few new ones that are keepers if there is a Toy Story 4 (Michael Keaton is a highlight as an overly fashionable Ken doll). Pixar injects the film with its usual blend of humor, action, and tender moments. there's really nothing left to say. The film builds on Pixar's already impressive oeuvre.

The film ended to a large round of applause. Most of the large crowd stayed through the credits as Pixar included a little epilogue, and clapped again when that ended too. Definitely a good sign. Overall, it was a great night, and I am planning on seeing this in theaters again.

Attendance: 4/5
Crazy Fan Boy Factor: 1/5
Crowd Response: 5/5
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Production Value: 5/5
Humor: 4/5
Plot: 5/5
Nostalgia: Through the roof (for this reviewer)

Overall: 10/10

Featured New Release Poll- 6/25

Every summer, there is a week where two crap-fests battle it out for second place at the box office under much better fare from the last week. This is that week, folks. (Actually, there may be a few more of those this summer- ick.)

For your consideration, Grown Ups, starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James, versus Knight and Day, the action-comedy with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. I honestly don't know which film I am pulling for here. I feel that both films' trailers showed all the funny moments from the film, but the Grown Ups trailer showed more things that may have been supposed to be funny, but definitely weren't. I predict next Thursday night is going to be painful either way. Get on the poll and choose my poison.

Winner: Toy Story 3

The first poll yielded pretty predictable results, as 72% of you picked the latest Pixar creation over 28% for Jonah Hex. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'll be attending the midnight showing, and will write about it tomorrow.

To infinity, and beyond!

Black Hawk Down

After watching Steel Magnolias, I spent the next few days looking through Glamour for new hairstyles, being courteous and polite, and talking about my feelings. Acting decidedly not like myself, I sought a return to normalcy through film. Last night I watched Black Hawk Down and man, am I sorted out. Just in time for National Man Day, might I add.

I excitedly rented the blu-ray of this and popped it in my PS3, settling into my couch with a bag of salty delicious popcorn. The next two and a half hours were a welcome exercise for my seldomly taxed entertainment system. Black Hawk Down has a LOT going on, all the time. Which for a war movie, is usually a good thing.

For those of you who haven't seen it, the film is a depiction of the failed raid in Mogadishu Somalia, 1993. There are a lot of characters, including Josh Hartnett's Staff Sgt. Eversmann, who finds himself leading men for the first time into a rather sticky situation. All hell inevitably breaks loose, mistakes are made, chains of command are questioned, and the actors you recognize all live to fight another day (except SPOILER ALERT>>>>>> Jeremy Piven, poor bastard).

Black Hawk Down is a really well made movie. It is fast paced and slickly edited, and the production values are through the roof. At times it is easy to forget you are watching a movie and not a war documentary. The production design is what sets this apart from other modern war movies. The city of Mogadishu (actually filmed in Morocco) is a character unto itself. The burned out cars littering the streets, rusted over swing sets abandoned in courtyards, it all makes the action feel very real. In this regard, Black Hawk Down is second, in my opinion, to Saving Private Ryan, as far as recent war films go (high praise, to be sure).


My only beef, and this is something only a movie buff would notice, is the preponderance of non-American actors playing the soldiers. I know, I know, its only a movie. But this is a film about American heroes, why can't we find some Americans to play them? And Orlando Bloom's accent was just awful. I was glad he didn't talk much (why is it that when Brits/Aussies play American they always go with the Southern twang? We don't all sound like that).

Last couple of notes:
WHY is Tom Sizemore always the loveable but gruff higher up who never ducks for cover when bullets are flying all around?

and WHY do the Somalians have such horrible accuracy with their weapons? I play Call of Duty, and those guys were noobs as far as I could tell. Didn't they ever practice? I mean at the end, the Americans are literally filling the courtyard, just standing there and slowly moving around, and the bad guys can't hit them??

(ok, not notes, but rhetorical questions)

Production Value: 5/5
Acting Performances: 3/5
Action: 4/5
Josh Harnett pensive stares: 4 or 5 I think, will recount later.

Overall: 9/10

Next viewing assignment...

Ok, so the first viewing went much better than I had feared. However, after the chick-fest of Steel Magnolias, I decided I need to amp up the testosterone factor of this next assigned viewing. I dug through my pile of surveys, and one of you came through in a big way.

My next film is Black Hawk Down, starring Josh Hartnett and Tom Sizemore, a graphically violent war movie (basically, a 180 degree turn from the last film). This is a rewatch for me, as I have seen the film a couple times but not for about 5 years.

Black Hawk Down was recommended by my good friend from high school Aubrey. He says that it is his favorite movie because it is "bloody, awesome, realistic," and has "lots of helicopters". Interesting critique.

I will be watching Black Hawk Down in the next couple of nights so stay tuned for my response!

Steel Magnolias

My goodness... I didn't know that any film could successfully contain this much estrogen but Steel Magnolias has educated me.

I watched this one last night with my mom and girlfriend Stephanie, just in case (as I suspect) women speak some sort of strange females-only language when they are alone with each other that would need to be translated for a male audience. They didn't do anything like that in the film but I am still not convinced.

Anyway, this movie was very well made. All the lead actresses were very good, even Dolly Parton (???). My favorite free spirited southern lady (there were six to choose from) was Ouiser, played by Shirley Maclaine, who provided the comic relief in the film. The tragic Shelby, (Julia Roberts in one of the best performances I have seen from her) is the central character, as the plot follows her character arc from her wedding, to the birth of her child, and through her health issues brought on by diabetes.

My only complaint with the movie is the portrayal of the male characters as, well, goofballs. The first scene revolves around the preparation for Shelby's wedding, during which her father tries to scare away birds with a .38 and firework laden exploding crossbow bolts (awesome). So yes, this movie actually did have explosions in it. For this he is berated by every single female character, several times (I half expected Sally Field to cry "and get your damn muddy boots off the kitchen table!") Yes, her husband was THAT guy. But so was every other male character (Dolly Parton's husband works on his car a lot and is named Spud). They all come around in the end though, and yes, there is a happy, hopeful ending, which is fine, because there is plenty of sad stuff in this film too. I didn't cry though. My mom, who had seen it before, admitted to shedding a few tears, and Stephanie fell asleep (long day at work, I guess).

Anyway, I liked Steel Magnolias. For what it is, (a movie aimed squarely at women) it is great. I haven't seen a purer look at female friendship. Plus, any movie that features a man dressed as the Easter Bunny hopping (ha) on a Harley and riding off as its last shot has my vote.


Production Value: 4/5
Acting performances: 4/5
Humor: 3/5
Estrogen level: 6/5

Overall: 7/10

Featured New Release Poll- 6/18

So I promised you guys the ability to send me to whatever new movie that you see fit, and I am going to make good on that. Due to time constraints, I am skipping this weeks crop (The A-Team, The Karate Kid) Much as I would love to relive the 80's, I'm going to start up a poll for next weeks large releases, Toy Story 3 and Jonah Hex. So, what will it be? The pull-string cowboy doll or the cowboy with.. a hole in his face.. for some reason? Oh, and Megan Fox. Get on the poll and vote!

So it begins...

I am happy to announce the official kick off of this blog in all its glory. To get things started, I am going to watch Steel Magnolias, starring Sally Field and Dolly Parton.

This movie was recommended by my mom's very good friend since elementary school, Marianne. (I thought she liked me too but I guess not.) On her survey, she wrote that Magnolias "brings me from laughter to tears... all time chick flick." Gulp.

I am ashamed (ahem) to admit I have never seen this film, and I am excited to start this blog off with a bang by watching a popular flick that many of you have probably seen. Stay tuned in the coming days for my impression of Steel Magnolias.



Marianne won the honor of having her favorite movie featured first by being the first person who filled out a questionnaire to reply to my notification email for the founding of this blog. If you are a follower but did not attend my party, you can still participate! Just send me an email at captainflab@yahoo.com with your favorite film and a few lines explaining why. Its that simple. Your answer will be put in the hat and eligible to be randomly selected by me to watch and post on. So get involved and send me your choices!

Top Five Discarded Names for this Blog

I ended up settling on There Will Be Blog last night, because it was freaking hilarious at the time (3 in the morning). And that will be the name for the time being but before I ended up with that, and sometime after I was just going to title it Greg's Movie Blog, I came up with a few other awesome titles.

5. The Blogfather I thought this was pretty good, but then decided that there are probably around 3947463 other blogs with this title. Some pertaining to movies, some to literature or religion perhaps, or even organized crime blogs. (Why not?)

4. The Thief of Blogdad When you are referencing a movie that was REMADE in 1940, you know that you are going too far into the realm of the obscure.

3. My Man Blogfrey This made me laugh so much. But not in a good way. Godfrey is a really funny movie though, you should watch it.

2. Casabloga This was the first movie themed name I thought of, and it almost was my final choice before I decided to brainstorm some more. I had a cool Morocco-looking layout thought up and everything.

1. Bloggie and Clyde Its amazing how when you put the word blog into a common phrase or name, how well it fits and how hilarious it usually ends up being.

Anywho, I settled on TWBB for now... but who knows how long that will last. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Hello!

This is the first post. Hopefully, the first of many, many posts. But that depends on YOU.

This first week, I would like to see if I can get enough followers (maybe a dozen?) to have it make sense to post some sort of poll. I am planning on instituting a weekly "What New Release Should Greg See on its Opening Day" poll. That poll would run weekly every week.

Following the poll, I will go see whichever film gets the most votes on the day it comes out, rain or shine, long lines be damned, no questions asked, and post a blog afterward with my impressions of the film, the crazy fan-boys in costume, whatever it may be. So, if you want to get my thoughts on a movie you want to see but might be skeptical about, vote for it. If you prefer to torture me by sending me to the matinee of the newest Pokemon movie alongside 300 daycare kids, vote for it. Its all fair game.

Another weekly feature I am considering is the "Top Five ___". In this feature, I would pick an aspect of film, from the painfully obvious to the insanely obscure, (depending on how much time I want to spend thinking about it that given week), and choose my own "Top five" of ____ throughout film history. Reader comments of these posts would be greatly appreciated, if you have your own top 5 ___ especially! I will also consider posting a poll concerning these posts if my choices prove to be controversial (HA).

A third feature I have planned, which was ultimately my reason for founding this blog, is to write about movies that have been suggested to me by my close family and friends. At my graduation party, I asked all of my guests to answer a survey about their favorite movies. I made a solemn vow, and reiterate it now, to watch EVERY SINGLE ONE of their choices over the course of this summer. I don't know what I was smoking when I came up with that idea. Anyway, the responses ranged from the typical (The Godfather II) to the unfortunate (something called Super Dave). But nevertheless, I shall persevere. The authors of the surveys in question are presumably going to make up the bulk of this blog's readership for some time, so I will try to make it a twice weekly feature, but who knows how long that will last.

So, let this inaugural post serve as this blog's manifesto. I am going to keep it up at least for the summer, see where that takes us and how you like it.

Signing off-