Top Five Funniest One Liners

Having not updated this segment in a month, I thought it would be refreshing to make another list with some great movies on it in between my viewings of all the new crap that keeps coming out, without end.

So, here we have my top five funniest one line gags from cinema history. A one liner, technically speaking, is exactly what you would think. A joke that is told in one line.

For obvious reasons, I eliminated films that rely solely on quick hitting one liners. All apologies to Mel Brooks, Airplane, and the Marx Brothers, but you would have just dominated this list.



5. "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."



The Blues Brothers is awesome for many reasons. It has numerous cameo appearances from some of the legends of soul music, an epic car chase, and more attitude than you can shake a stick at. It is also uproariously funny, by far the best of the SNL skit spin off films. The line, while funny in its own right, also sums up the jist of the film and the characters so perfectly, it had to be included on this list.


4. "Duct tape. I need it for... taping something."


The darkest film on the list (barely), American Psycho is also incredibly funny. Patrick Bateman's constant excuses are all worthy of this spot, as is the ATM's classic "feed me a stray cat", but in my opinion Bateman's creme de la creme is the above line. After all the elaborate lies and excuses ("I need to go return some videotapes"), this is the best he can come up with for having duct tape. Pretty sketchy...


3. "These go to eleven."



If you haven't seen This is Spinal Tap, just know it is a mockumentary about a metal band made up of quite possibly the stupidest people on Earth.

Here we see the film's director Rob Reiner, portraying the documentarian Marty DiBergi, as he interviews Christopher Guest, aka Nigel Tufnel, guitarist extraordinaire.




2. "I'll have what she's having."


When Harry Met Sally is widely regarded as one of the best romantic comedies, and this line is from it's signature scene. Meg Ryan's Sally has just accepted Harry (Billy Crystal)'s challenge that she can't fake an orgasm. Funny right? Oh and, they are sitting in a diner. The above line is spoken by an elderly patron, played by director Rob Reiner's mother. Wow, two Reiner references in one blog post, can't say that will ever happen again.


1. "You can't fight in here, this is the war room!"



One of Stanley Kubrick's most under appreciated films, the oft parodied but seldom recognized Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is one of the funniest movies ever, right up there with Some Like it Hot (let me just say now; "No one's perfect" gets honorable mention). Most side splitting comedies don't come with the tense undercurrents of global nuclear war, so you know this film is special when you laugh at the seemingly ludicrous plot while realizing that it could in fact go down this way.